True love doesn't wait

Have you ever heard the phrase "True Love Waits?" In case you have not heard of this Christian Pro-abstinence group I would like to share what Wikipedia says about them: 

According to Wikipedia, True Love Waits is an international Christian group that promotes sexual abstinence outside of marriage for teenagers and college students. TLW was created in April, 1993 by the Southern Baptists, and is sponsored by LifeWay Christian Resources.

Before I go too deep into this subject, I want to lay down some disclaimers 

1) I believe that sex was created by God as a good gift to His children between one man and one woman to enjoy with-in the covenant of marriage. 

2) The idea of sex has become distorted through homosexuality, premarital sex, and porn. Homosexual is not always a choice but neither are tendencies toward premarital sex, and addictions toward porn. 

I believe that God created everything good. Sometimes we fall into the duelist mindset and claim that some things are from God while others are not. We say some things are "holy" like church, and praying, and fasting, and reading your bible. While other things are not, like smoking, drinking,  and sex. 

Instead, I want to pose the idea that God created functions such as sex as a gift for a man and a woman to enjoy. When I consider God up in Heaven when He created humans I imaged his love for us as he gave sex organs to his children. He said, "They are going to love me for this!" 

So, Sex is good inside of marriage. Or so I have been told. As I am currently engaged. But I know the sensation that a kiss brings and hunger to consummate from marriage in a few months. 

I love purity groups. They are wonderful. But sometimes I think they do more harm than good. They tell boys and girls not to have sex. But for what reason? Because God says so!

Does He? I still haven't found that verse in the Bible. ;) 

There are much more psychological reasons behind preserving sexuality than Biblical! For example, consider someone who sticks one's tongue to the flag pole in winter. This of course was done because he or she or YOU were dared during your childhood. Once you stick your tongue to the flagpole there is only one way to unstick it. Pull as hard as you can and stream bloody mary. 

What happens? part of your tongue is stuck to the flag pole. Forever. 

When you engage in sexual activities just to try it and then there is a breakup you leave part of your tongue (heart) with that person. 

That's probably why the Scriptures command of us: "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." 

The problem I have with most teachings on Abstinence is not that they teach that one should wait to have sex but that they tend to bring your focus on waiting for your lover. If you don't have sex before you are married, if you don't look at porn, if you don't do this or that then you will find the perfect love of your life and live happily ever after. 

The problem is that this is a false narrative. It is a false reality because no one person can fulfill on of your desires. Yet people transfer their sexual/finical/emotional desires and place them on someone else. 

The slogan is "True love waits." But true love doesn't wait. 

Jesus is my true love. He is the lover of my soul. John, a man who followed Jesus 2000 years said this of Jesus: "No greater love than this that a man laid down his life for his friends." 

That is what Jesus did. Not only did he lay down his life for his friends 2000 years ago. He laid down his life for anyone and everyone. He paved the way for us to have an intimate relationship with the eternal God of the universe. 

True love doesn't wait in your relationships either. If the relationship is one of romance then there is a need to to display one's love for another without breaking boundaries that the two set up. But if one looks for love in another in order to fill complete he or she will not find it. 

I don't know everything about love but I have learned at least one thing. A relationship is about giving love not receiving it. Giving love is hard but it is the purpose of all relationship. It shows even greater love toward someone when you give love to someone when they cannot love you back. 

True love does not wait for the other to straighten out before they love or have a strict list of rules in order for love to happen. True love is unconditional full of grace and truth. True love is Jesus and His love never runs out on us. 

The other problem I have with many Abstinence groups is that they teach that you need to preserve yourself for the "ONE." I write this blog after watching the series finale of "How I meet your mother." This show was amazing but reinforcements the idea that there is a perfect person for each person out there. That the universe, or karma or in Christian circles God will provide your soul mate! 

But do we have a soul mate? A perfect one? I would say we do not. After all love is a choice. Love is a choice one must make every day. And because we are not puppets it makes love all that more powerful. That we choose to look beyond the imperfections in others, treasure hunt for their their good qualities and love each other even when it is hard. 

True love does not wait. Choose today to love the person next to you. In doing so you will make a difference at least in one person's life.  

The sun will come up tomorrow.

Last night I was able to travel to Saint Marys High School to watch their drama department perform the musical entitled, "Annie." A girl in my youth group/church was performing and I thought it would be nice to go over and show my support. I can't lie this musical blew me away. They hit it out of the park. They used 60 or so little kids as orphans in the scene of "It's a hard knock life for us." In addition, the little girl who played Annie (I found out she was only in 7th grade), blew the crowd away. With her charm, wit, and amazing voice.

If you have never seen the musical Annie here is the synopsis.  Annie is about an 11 year old Orphan who lives in an Orphanage with many other orphans in NYC. Annie has hope that her parents are still alive because she has a letter and half a locket from them. She gets invited over to a Billionaire's house (Oliver Warbucks) for two weeks to spend the Christmas season. She loves it there but wishes she could be with  her parents. When Mr. Warbucks discovers that Annie wants her parents found he hires over 50 FBI agents and conducts a nation-wide search to find Annie's parents. Many couples try to trick the billionaire  and his assistant saying, "We are Annie's parents." because they desire the 50,000 dollar cash reward. In the end, the FBI agents discover that Annie's parents passed away many years ago. This leads to a heart wrenching scene  but in the end Mr. Warbucks adopts Annie into his family. It concludes with Annie calling Mr. Warbucks, "Daddy."

Through out this movie the little girl is stunning in her optimism. She sings the song, "Tomorrow," countless times to cheer the mood. She knows that even though the situation is looking bad that things will be better tomorrow. In the orphanage she cheers the "children" up by singing tomorrow. She even sings it to the FDR when the presidential cabinet is feeling depressed.  She inspires the president to come up with the "New Deal."

There are a four things that I learned watching the musical last night.

1) Community is necessary in order to make it through tough times.

The first place we see this in "Annie" is at the orphanage. When we have things in common with each other we are able to bond over our common interests and when tough times arise use that developed relationship to lean back on. The girls held a common bond of their hatred toward Miss Hannigan.

Looking at our own lives. When do you find healing? By yourself? Only over time? Those are myths. We find healing by getting whatever is bothering us up and out. James, the brother of Jesus, said it this way: "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." 

I am not saying that if you confess your sins and hurts to God that you will not find forgiveness and even healing. But how much more can you find comfort and healing if you walk with your brother or sister in Christ through your tough time! 

I believe this is where we often time drop the ball. We are too focus on ourselves and not the needs of the other. The common bond of believing in Jesus for our salvation is the greatest bond in all of the world. If a rag tag bunch of little girls from the great depression can band together over their hatred for Miss Hannigan how much more can we band together over our love for Jesus! 

2) When tough times come we can see the brighter side. 

Annie sings her song "Tomorrow" in which she proclaims a promise she believes to be true. She says, "The sun will come up tomorrow. Thinking about tomorrow will clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow. The sun will come up tomorrow. You're only a day away." 

Wow. What a promise she was able to hold onto. And guess what? She was right. When we are negative and fill our minds with those negative thoughts we trap ourselves. But when we start looking on the brighter side of those we can start to have positive thoughts. Positive words produce positive thoughts which produce positive actions. 

The idea of hope within the Christian framework is often under underestimated. 

Jesus came to bright hope two fold. 

a)  In the future. 

The scriptures end with a promise. Jesus promised when he returns that, "He will wipe away every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." 

What a great promise. That there will be a time when there is no more hatred. No more fear. No more discrimination. We will be completely free to be all we have been designed to be by God. I hate crying. I don't think many people like it. There will be a day when you can't cry because there will be no need to cry!

b) Right now. 

The hope that Jesus brings now is to be with us through tough times. 

One of the last words that Jesus told his disciples before he was killed was, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

He is telling them that they are going to have some tough times ahead. Some of them will even die for their faith. Jesus does not give them a pass on persecution. What he does give them is a promise. He says that I will be with you. I will walk beside you. 

Reflecting back on my own journey: I am incredibly thankful that God allowed bad things to occur in my life. I would not be the same person if I had not been tested with difficult situations in my life. 

Jesus does not promise an easy life for you or for me. He does promise that he will be with us through it all. And that is a better promise. Because the sun will come up tomorrow and when it comes up you and I will be stronger. 

3) God adopts us into his family

There is this great parallel between Annie and the Bible referring to adoption and selfless love. In the musical Annie, Annie is adopted by Mr. Warbucks. Mr. Warbucks knew there was something missing in his life. He had all the money, fame, and possessions in the world. What he did not have was someone to spend his life with.

In the same way, God adopts us into His family. God has all the money, fame and possessions in the world. What does he need? Nothing. No one. But He yearned for a relationship with us. His yearning was so great that He sent Jesus to the cross in order to gain a relationship with us.

Saint Paul said it this way:
"But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, "Abba, Father."

I love that at the end of the musical, Annie calls Mr. Warbucks "Daddy." They no longer had an impersonal relationship. She no longer was an orphan but a child of her daddy. 

In the same way, we can call out to our Abba, Father. Abba means our daddy. We now have a deep relationship with the one who created the universe. Not only can we believe that the sun will come up tomorrow; we can know the One who has designed the sun to come up tomorrow.

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4) God has big things for us. But it might look different then what we had planned.

You might have heard this Bible verse before talking about the future:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declare the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jer 29:11)

These words are completely true but often misused. Many look at these words and think if I follow God I will be living on "Easy Street." It is true that God has plans for us and they are good plans but never once are we promised to have an easy life.

In context with the rest of the Bible, Jeremiah is writing a letter to people that follow God but are trapped in a land that was not there own. They were hearing rumors that they were only going to be there for a little while. But God spoke through Jeremiah to tell them they were going to be there for awhile! (See Jeremiah 29:4-10)

He is telling them the opposite of what many believe about this verse. He is telling them that life is going to be tough but it is part of God's plan. He is telling them that God's plan for them is to live in exile for right now. They need to learn and grow and mature.

He goes on to tell them that He will bring them into a better situation but it is going to be awhile. This is where are confidence and faith needs to be in that God knows what he is doing. Life was tough and they had a choice whether to believe and trust that God was going to fulfill his promise.

Two things can happen when you are going through a tough time.

a) The first is that God might change your position.

This is what happened to Annie. She was living in the orphanage when the assistant to Mr. Warbucks comes in and choose Annie over the other children.

For Annie this is not what she thought was going to happen. Her dream was finding out who her parents were and living with them forever.

That didn't happen. But that's okay. Because it all worked out. God had something better in store for Annie and usually God has something better for us that what we are thinking about. We tend to settle for what we think is best. But God has something way better planned for us.

b) The second is that God might change your perspective.

That's what happened to the followers of God in Jeremiah 29. They thought they were going to have a change in position. That God was going to come in and get them out of there. Instead, God came in and changed the way they thought.

He said, "You are going to be here for awhile."

He said, "Build houses, settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters away in marriage. Seek the peace and prosperity of the city. Because when it prospers so will you prosper."

Sometimes we are looking for an out when the situation gets tough. More times then not I have learned that God is using that situation to change me. Transform for into the person He desires me to be. Because if I am able to overcome a tragedy then I can bring hope to someone else down the road.

We need to remember that when life does seem hopeless that the Sun will come up tomorrow and that God is using everything in our lives for our good.

Holy Slumber (A theology of Sleep)

I love to sleep. I am not kidding. It is one of my favorite things to do. I heard somewhere that adults need to have between 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. Frankly, that is not enough. I believe a good night's sleep includes 9 to 10 hours of sleep.

I wrote in my previous blog that I was traveling with my girlfriend, Jasmine Benton, on an eight day road trip. This road trip included going to: Skyline Chili, A Spurs/Cavs Basketball Game, my brother tom's house in Madison, The Tracy's in Fort Mill, SC, Jasmine's Father's house in Tampa, a pirates spring training game, bowling, the beach, Genghis Grill, Starbucks (a few times), and of course Chick-fil-a.

Wow. Did I mention we drove to all these places. Roughly 40 hours of driving. A good time for connecting with my girl and see most of the east coast for sure. But it was a long trip.

Jasmine's father, Kevin Benton, approved of me and he said something of me that affirmed the truth that I already knew, "boy you are a deep sleeper." His statement came from the fact that while I was in Florida, I slept through three trains coming through the town and a transformer blowing up in addition to Mr. Benton coming into and out of the youth room in which we were sleeping.

In many ways, I am similar to Jasmine's father. (Maybe Freud's theory that you marry someone similar to your opposite gender parent is true).  We both are in ministry, both love sports, both enjoy singing to the songs on the radio (making up new lyrics where we feel necessary). But in some areas we are not.

Kevin and Vanessa (Jasmine's father and step-mother) are borderline workaholics.  It was very difficult for me to write that previous statement for two reasons. 1) As humans we are never confined to a label because we are constantly changing and transforming. 2)  Kevin Benton is a church planter. So, in addition to working a 40 hour job he puts in a full time job working at the church. I have no idea how difficult that is.

But the reality is work can cause stress in a individual's life that can influence other dynamics. One area is sleep. If there is always one more thing to be done then that is more important sleep or getting that one thing done? To a person that values sleep it is sleep to a person obsessed with work it is that one more thing.

Getting enough sleep, eating healthy and exercising are the three biggies in lowering one's stress level.  I am not perfect in any of these areas but I see the need to continually improve my sleeping conditions, eating a little better and working out when I can.

As I was driving (well when it was Jasmine's turn to drive) back from Florida I opened the book of Psalms and decided to read the chapter for the day. I was on Psalm 4 and was shocked as the author talked about sleep! David wrote the majority of the Psalms, including this one. He is seen as a Biblical Hero for many but really he was just as imperfect as you and me. This is the same David who was a Shepherd, kills Goliath, becomes king of Israel and called a man after God's own heart. Did I forget to mentioned he also committed Adultery, got her pregnant, and killed the husband.

How does one go from being this guy on fire for God to going on a slippery slope of sin? Or maybe I should pose a question that is more personal: How you go from being on fire for God to being on a slippery slope of sin?

Well, maybe it would be helpful to know a little bit more about David in order to know what happened. He was king over Israel and his army was off at war. He decided, instead of fighting with his men, that he was going to sit at home. It was there that he was able to look out his window and see a beautiful young lady. And the rest was history.

David sinned against God because he was slumbering in his house instead of fighting in the battle.

Sleep is good but too much slumbering and laziness can cause your mind to wonder. Stress occurs in our lives when we do things that we believe our wrong. Think into your own life. When do you fall into the same old bad habits? When you are alone. Because there is no accountability of friends.

Many years later David writes Psalm 4 as a warning and a plead for balance between rest and work. He said, "Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your bed, search your hearts and be silent."

Do not sin when you are on your bed but rather search and silent your heart. I wonder where he learned that?

David concludes this Psalm by saying: "In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."

 The problem with many people (including myself), in 21st century USA, is that we are go, go, go. And then we wonder why we are so tired at night. In a society that promotes working your butt off include you get burnt out I want to give you permission today to stop. To take a few breathes. God has important things for you to do but they can wait. Your job/calling/vocation whatever can wait. Spending time alone with God gives you and I the energy and motivation to be all we are.

God needs to be our primarily focus, followed by time with our family, followed by our jobs and other activities. If other areas in your life are lacking think but to the last time you were allowed with God. I am not talking about reading your bible or listening to worship music (though I am not against those activites). But just alone. You and him. Your heavenly daddy. I realize not all of my readings are Christians but even if you don't identify as a follower of Jesus He is still your daddy and He loves you.

May you mediate on these words as you go through out your day:

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.


May you quiet yourself today and allow your Good Shepherd to bring you peace.

God opposes the proud?

I have never been to Florida. Flew over it twice but I do not think that counts. This next week is going to be an exciting time in my life. I get to take my girlfriend to Cleveland to watch her favorite basketball team play (the Spurs are in town), I get to spend a night at my brother's in Madison, OH, I get to eat Skyline Chili, I get to visit my mentor John in Fort Mill, I get to meet my future father-in-law in Tampa, and I get to watch a spring training baseball game.

This 8 day trip is going to include over 40 hours of driving! That's crazy! 

I checked the temperature in Tampa, FL. Which is where we will be spending the majority of our trip and it it currently 59 which is amazing considering it was 0 degrees when I drove to the office this morning. 

Still a few more tasks to complete but the trip is so close I can smell it. Or maybe that is the smell of the Chainsaw carvers in town. IDK?

As I get ready to leave I am in deep thought over the passage of scripture that I read this morning. I have just finished reading the book of 1st Peter. It took me a month to read it as I read a few verses per day in order to reflect deeply on the words. 

This letter, written by Peter, demonstrates the ways in which Peter has been transformed by God. Today, I read about being humble. You might have heard these words but I will write them in case you have not.

"In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."

This makes me mad. How the heck does God oppose some people and show favor to others. I thought that God so loved the world that he gave His only Son to die for our sins (John 3:16) and that God shows no favoritism (James 2). 

This also makes me mad because I have to submit myself to someone else. NOT FAIR! 

The kids in my youth group and on my wrestling team both think I am old. But really I am only 22 years old and compared to the average elder in our church I am half their age. Maybe a third of the age of our head elder (though he is still pretty good at tennis). 

I don't think I am the only one in the world that has a problem with submitting to others. Whether older or younger. After all, we can all find a reason why we are more qualified or knowledgeable in a certain area of life. We all think we are expects. 

And that is our biggest downfall. When we think we know everything we have no room to grow and to learn. When we believe we have arrived at our destination we hinder our ability to travel further on this journey we call life. 

Where this becomes incredibly personal for me is in my trip to Florida. Precisely for two reasons. The first is that I grew up in a culture where I respected my mother and father and grew to love them incredibly. I would call my mother and father by either "Mom" and "Dad" or "Mary Jane" and "Joe." Not because I disrespected them but knew calling them by their first name was easier than calling out  "MOM" or "DAD." Growing up we were often at sporting events and large family gathering and it was incredibly more efficient to yell their first name. 

Furthermore, the culture I grew up in and even the college I attended reinforce these tendencies. My friend's parents did not require of me to call them Mr or Mrs so and so but rather by their God given name. Even the majority of professors at my college did not demand (though some did) that we call them by their professional name. Dr or professor so and so. 

Inversely, this is not the culture that my girlfriend grew up in. She grew up with parents and grandparents that found it respectful for their daughter/granddaughter to call them by their surname. 

I was reminded by Jasmine that when I meet her father that I will need to call him either "Mr. Benton" or "Reverend Benton." I don't even call my own pastor Reverend.  Frightened at the fact that I might slip and call him "Kevin" the first encounter has me worried and tense. 

The other area that this because personal is through the housing arrangement while we are down at his house. Being raised in a Christian household we were instructed that sexual intercourse was given as a gift between one man and one woman when they are married. That is how God made it to be because he knew the ramification if one were to engage outside of marriage. 

This rule of abstinence is governed within our relationship. 

A rule that Jasmine's Father upholds that we do not (nor do I know anyone who does) is sleeping in the same household. He does not believe it is right for two individuals to sleep in the same house, even if they are separated by four floors, if they are not married. 

I am not posting this in order to claim how ridiculous I believe this rule is because I know I have created rules in my life that seem redundant to his worldview. 

I am posting this to show how their is a tension and it is completely my fault. It is not my fault that we have separate views of the world and rules and regulations but rather how i response to his rules. 

The same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. 

Submitting yourself to someone else does not mean you  agree with what they want or what they are doing but rather that you value the relationship over the rule. 

What do you think he meant when Peter said, "God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble."?

I don't think God will hate you if you disrespect someone. He can't. His love for you is unconditional. If his love for you and for us depended on what we did it would no longer be unconditional it would be conditional to what we did. 

Maybe when we are proud, When we think we know better than someone else, God does not oppose us. Rather, maybe we oppose God. Like Adam and Eve in the garden. They rebelled against God. They ate the forbidden fruit because they did not trust God. They became proud. Proud in who? Themselves. 

When we put anything in front of God, even logic (which is a gift from God) we are making it our new God. 

Does God show favor to the humble?

Yes and no. Once again there is nothing you can do to earn God's love. He couldn't love you any more than he currently does. 

But He does know that when we walk in humility that things go better. 

Think back to the Ten Commandments with me this afternoon. The first four have to do with our relationship to God. The last six have to do with our relationship with others. 

The fifth Commandment (or first on the second tablet) says, "Honor your mother and father, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving to you." 

God knew that if we started by honoring our mother and father it would flow into all of our relationships. You know how someone is going to treat others by how they treat their parents. Out of that commandment God says, "Don't Murder, Don't commit adultery, Don't Steal, Don't lie, Don't covet." 

If you respect someone you wouldn't murder them, you wouldn't sleep with their wive, you wouldn't steal from them, you wouldn't lie to them, and you wouldn't want their stuff. 

Jesus summarizing the Ten Commandments told us the two greatest commandments were to "Love the Lord God with all of your heart, soul, mind and love your neighbor as yourself. 

God understood that if we honor and respected each other we would live a much better life. For example, You are free of guilt if you never murder anyone. Your marriage is better off if you only sleep with your spouse. 

It feels like we are receiving blessings and favor from God by it is simply us following the common sense law of God that he established for our benefit. 

Peter goes on to say in his letter, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." 

When we set down our pride, our agenda, and  the way we perceive the world we are able to learn from others. We are able to ask questions and learn about others. We are to take the focus off of me and place it on another. We are able to dig deep and learn the story of another. Instead of being quick to judge and slow to speak we need to be slow to speak and quick to listen and learn. 

Humbling yourself before another does not mean you lower your self-esteem and go into a stage of depression it simply means you take the focus off of yourself and are willing to go about things in a different manner. 

Humbling yourself does not depend on your emotions. In fact, I urge you to trick your emotions. When someone does or says something that pisses you off: response in love. When someone makes a rule that you see no purpose in it, instead of becoming defensive, ask them why they believe in that rule. They might have a good reason. 

And finally, humbling yourself is not easy. Saint Paul, who wrote to the church in Philippi, tells us to have the same mindset as Jesus. Jesus humbled himself to the point of being killed on a cross. Because of Jesus's humbleness God exalted him. 

It would have been easier for Jesus to not die on the cross. But he was motivated by love. He valued the relationship over his situation. He said, "The needs of the many out way the needs of the few." Or was the star trek? Whatever. 

When you are motivated by love you set aside your control. May you and I fall more in love with Jesus and with others. As we love each other the way we treat each other will change. Will you join with me on this quest of setting aside my knowledge, pride, degrees, and qualifications and follow the way of the Jewish Carpenter of Nazareth? 

What would Jesus do?

WWJD? It was the YOLO of the 90's. It stood for "What would Jesus do?" This phrase has been overused and unfortunately misused.

The main point: If you face a decision in your life you should determine what Jesus would do in that situation and act accordingly. The problem is that we face many different situations that Jesus would not have faced. For example the Internet. Or dating. Or for women, being a woman!  

BUT...........

Jesus did live on earth and therefore was faced with many temptations that are at the heart of any issue that we are facing.  I believe that any and all struggles and hurt we face in this life are a result of wanting to be in control. At least, that's how I see it. (Freud believed we learn how to control our environment during the potty training years of development).

Why do we fall into addictions? Why do we get pissed off if someone cuts us off in traffic? Why does it hurt when a love one passes away?

When things do not go according to plan (or rather our plan) we are frustrated. There is so much in life we can control and I am not pleading we fall into a fatalistic mindset. But there is so much we cannot control. The only certain thing of life is that it is uncertain.  The Question one must ask is how should one view and react to life's seemingly unpredictable circumstances?

As a follower of Jesus, I look toward Him as my example. He certainly did not have an easy upbringing. We learn in Scriptures that Mary was found to be with child before she was married to her then boyfriend (Joseph). This seems not as much of an issue in 2014 Western Culture however this was a huge deal in 4BC (roughly). Mary and Joe were not living in sin but God conceived a child in Mary to bring salvation to the world. (This is the message of Christmas).

Jesus was raised in a world where many upright religious leaders looked down upon him and his father and viewed him as a mistake child (which is oddly ironic because He was perfect and without sin).

The story of Jesus is he grows and he learns and develops into this man who loves His heavenly father. He develops a ministry in the most unique way by choosing men who have no formal training to be his disciples. Throughout his ministry he taught people what it looked like to actually fall in love with God and not just with the rules of religion. He invited people into a personal relationship with the Father. His love was incredible. His love brought him to pray and see people healed. His love was even greater because He was willing to touch people that society deemed as "untouchable."

Jesus made the Jewish religious leaders of the day upset because He claimed to be God. For them, Jesus could not be God because He did not fit their qualifications. Jesus left no room for being politically correct or moral relativism. He said He was the only way to the Father.

The Jewish leaders did not like Jesus and they saw him as a threat. As He continue to claim to be God and prove it through His actions they plotted a scheme to kill him. They used one of His closest friends as a spy to lead Jesus to be arrested.

A huge crowd gathered around Jesus and his disciples. Peter, another close friend of Jesus, knew that He was in trouble. Peter grabbed his sword and attacked the first person he saw. The person was Malchus. He was commissioned by the high priest to  arrest Jesus. However, When Peter attacked Malchus, instead of hitting his neck or chest he missed. His missed attack resulted in Malchus having his ear chopped off.

Jesus tells Peter to put his sword away and then reaches to the ground and grabs the ear that is laying on the ground dirty and bloody. He says, "No more of this." When Jesus does the unthinkable. He places the ear back onto the head of the man who was trying to arrest him. Jesus healed him. One second, Malchus had no ear and a few seconds later it was back fully attached.

In the midst of being betrayed and arrested Jesus choose to bring healing to his enemy.

Malchus used that ear to hear Jesus' last words on the cross. "Father, forgive them. For they do not know what they are doing."

Malchus came to faith in Jesus later in his life. He experienced the goodnesss of God. He experienced it through Jesus bringing healer and hearing Jesus pray to God for His salvation.

I could easily go on a rant on how we need to show people the love of God. That we need to pray for the salvation of friends and family that do not know the Lord. That we need to forgive others, even when it is tough. But not today. I just preached on that on Sunday at Awakening Alliance Church. You can find that sermon on the church website.

Today, I do not want to focus on "what would Jesus do?" but rather "what did Jesus do?" I think it is important to think about what Jesus would do in a situation but it can only come out of knowing what Jesus has already done for you and I. I am talking about his willingness to give up control. He laid done His life and was killed on  a cross. He did not stay in the grave but rose again on the third day.

Jesus provided everything for us. He provided for us a relationship with God that was not possible because of sin. He provided for us eternal life (first in heaven and later in the New Jerusalem). He provided the means by which all things will be redeem all earth. Every relationship, every discipline, everything!

We want control. It is part of being human. But what if instead of having to be in control of everything we acknowledge the fact that we are not in control. But God is! God is in control of your life, of my life, of the universe. What if our faith is not in you or me or TEAM USA but in God. Our faith is not in what would Jesus do if He were on earth now but on what He accomplished 2000 years ago.

Perfect

Simple Plan wrote a song that was really popular in 2003. It was called, "Perfect." Maybe some of you remember these words, 

"Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along. And now I try hard to make it. I just wanna make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. Can't pretend that I'm alright. And you can't change me. Cause we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry, I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late and We can't go back. I'm sorry. I can't be perfect."

It is hard to be perfect. It is hard to live up to someone's exceptions. It drives us to addictions. To seek love in all the wrong places. It leads to psychological problems as well.   

Why can't I be loved. We can't be loved because we do not meet or reach someone's exceptions for us. Feelings of worthlessness as we cry out. We cry out "I just wanna make you proud." We scream desperately, "I'm never gonna be good enough for you."  

Throughout the age of Psychology many smart Psychologist of theorized on how one develops a good self-esteem and self-worth. For example, Erik Erikson (one of my favorite Psychologists) suggest that individuals have a basic conflict they need to overcome throughout their lives. If they fail to overcome they will  be predisposed to act in a certain way for the reminder of their lives. The infancy stage goes through the conflict of trust vs. mistrust. Children develop a sense of trust when caregivers provide reliability, care, and affection. A lack of this will lead to mistrust in relationship as they develop into adulthood. This theory supposes that one cause of a young lady not being able to be intimate with her boyfriend/husband/partner is because she did not develop a foundation of trust at an early age.   

I could go on and go about these different psychological approaches. I love them but I do not want to put you to sleep if this is not a passion of yours. My main point is that their has been different theories to "prove" why individuals strive in certain situations and fail in others. 

What does this have to do with being perfect? Everything. I believe that the way one views one's earthly father determines how one sees their Heavenly Father (GOD). I am not claiming a direct correlated in my study but I believe it makes sense. I am also not saying that if you have a distant father that you have to view God as distant and not close but simply that you are more likely to view God in that way compared to someone who had a close relationship with their biological father. 

Take 30 seconds and think about it. How was your relationship with your father? Has it influenced the way you view your Heavenly Father? 

Some people had/have fathers that our very strict and demand perfection. The song lyrics above were popular because many people could relate to the lyrics. As a result, they view God in this way. After all God is perfect. 

If you are reading this today and you have struggle with having to be perfect for someone else including or excluding God I give you permission to stop trying.  If you are a following of God (which I highly advise) I want to let you know that there is nothing you cannot do not make God love you any more or less today or ever. He showed His perfect love to you by giving up His only Son to establish a relationship with us. 

Many Christians believe that if they could follow all of the laws of the Old Testament that there would have not been any need for Jesus to come into the world. The problem with this theory is that both the falleness of humanity and of God's good gift of grace was already introduced into the world before the Ten Commandments were given. God made a promise to bless all nations to an undeserving geezer named Abram. Andy Standley says it look this: "God initiated a relationship with his people before he even told them what the rules were." 

Saint Paul, in the New Testament, reminds us that the law makes us aware of our sin "I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law" (see Romans 7:7). Realizing we have sinned and are not perfect does not lead one to depression but rather leads one to search for a Savior. This Savior, named Jesus, fulfilled the promise that God gave to Abram thousands of years ago. God enabled us to have a relationship with him despite not being perfect because when Jesus died on the cross we traded our imperfection for His perfection. Since Jesus was fully human and fully God he did not sin (break a rule). And was therefore the perfect One. 

Many Christians, I have been one of them, have mistakenly taken the words of Jesus in the New Testament and turned them into Old Testament Law. A perfect example of this can be found in the Beatitudes. The Beatitudes sound like if you do one thing there will be a positive experience. The opposite must also be true. If i do not do something then I will receive a negative experience. 

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."

If I am pure in heart I will see God, therefore if I am not pure in heart I will not see God. 

or how a bout this one......

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God."

If I am making peace I will be a child of God, therefore if I do not make peace I can't be a child of God. 

This is a huge trap that I believe many Christians fall into. It is very close to the hellish thought of karma. If i do good I will receive good (from the universe) or something like that. 

So what should we make of Jesus' words in the New Testament. 

1) Realize that there is nothing you can do to earn favor/salvation/love/respect from God. There is nothing I can do to improve or decrease my relationship with God. He did it. He accomplished it all. That is grace. While we were far from God He saved our butts. 

2) If we follow Jesus' "rules" we will have  better life. It's common sense sometimes. In one area he says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). 

Will you go to hell for looking at a woman lustfully? No. That's not the point. You will have a better relationship with your significant other if do not lust after other women. 

3) The words of Jesus show us what Heaven (eventually the New Jerusalem) will look like in the future. 

You and I have the chance to show people this better lifestyle. We can give them a foretaste of the feast to come. We can give them an appetizer, a little taste, a bite, so that they will hunger and thirst for more of Jesus in this life and the life to come. 

One last thing.

If you are familiar with the Bible you will notice that at the tail end of Chapter 5 in Matthew's Gospel Jesus said, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Sounds pretty straight forward. What should we make of a comment like this? 

Let's test it under the three theories I made above. 

1) God's grace means that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves so this is clearly not a matter of salvation. 

2) Talks about having a better life if we follow the "rules." In context with the rest of what Jesus is saying He is talking about loving those who cant love you back. Hmmm. Sounds like God. "if you love those who love you, what reward will you get?" 

This relates to the second theory because we are improving the world by showing people the perfect love of God. That is love that excepts nothing in return. 

3) This one is easy. You are showing people what it looks like to live in the Kingdom of God. 

One more thing.....

You don't have to be perfect. Jesus was perfect. He is perfect. And will always be perfect. God actually sees you as perfect if you have put your trust in Jesus. My prayer for you this morning is to be released from guilt and shame that might have influence that way you see yourself or the way you see God. 

My new blog

Hello cyberspace, if you are reading this you are either a close family/friend of mine or incredibly bored because there are many things you could be doing right now instead of reading my silly blog.

I am not sure why I have decided to create this blog but I guess it's the mature thing for an individual to do. Maybe I think you actually care what I have to say. Or maybe this will provide or additional but necessary avenue through which I can vent and process my thoughts.

These blogs will be random but I will try my hardest to focus on one topic throughout one blog. Since this is not related to a class and I am not being forced to write these blogs they will be centered among ideas and themes that gain my interest and hopefully reflect my worldview surrounding the Zeitgeist of our times.

I am a Youth Pastor; some of my blogs will rightly reflect my calling and occupation. Do not be surprised to see posts reflecting theology, the Bible, and current events surrounding Christianity and the Church.

I am a huge sports fan of Ridgway and Pittsburgh. I am an alumni of Ridgway High School lettering in three sports (Baseball, football, and wrestling) and currently coach junior high. In addition, I have enjoyed watching the Steelers, Penguins, and Pirates (even through 21 horrible year) with my family and it continues to be a passion of mine.

I am also engaged and madly in love with my bride to be Jasmine but she told me "No embarrassing stories." I will try my best.

But what happens in cyberspace stays in cyberspace?
Like Vegas.

 I hope you enjoy this blog and it gives you a chance to see deeper into my mind and I hope that it provides an avenue through which both yourself and myself may learn and grow in a variety of  disciplines.