Try Harder

When I was in Youth Group, Brian and I had an inside joke going for years. When we played hockey or basketball and one of us made a hustle play we would say, "Dude, You try too hard."

We love rooting for the underdog that tried really hard and is where he/she is not because of natural talent but effort. And Effort is important. If you don't try you are not going to be successful at the majority of life.

But what happens when I try so hard that I don't take care of myself.....

Back Pack?!???

Imagine you are wearing a backpack. There is nothing inside the backpack. Just air. It's easy to carry.....

But then someone asks you do them a favor or two... okay... so you add a rock.

Each time someone asks you to do something for them you add a rock.

Not a problem! You are strong person. Until you start placing unrealistic expectations on yourself. And then that ONE PERSON. You know your co-dependent friend. Lay all of their burdens on YOU!

They take their backpack and ask, "Can you carry this for me?"

And of course, you do! You are such a nice person. But being nice can be tiring. And you continue to add more rocks and more responsibility and then.......you have a really heavy backpack.

You get the picture..right?


Back on track.

So what advice do I offer?

Two simple two of advice today for you.

1) Learn to say No.

I have learned I better if I can give 100% at the thing I am doing. If I cant give my all I try to say No. I am not perfect at this and I am still learning but as we pray and discern and think about our prioritises we can say Yes to important things and no to the less important.


2) Lean on Jesus

"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."- Matthew 11:28


As we learn to say "No" I believe Jesus walks besides us and will take those dirty rocks out of our backpack. He will give us peace and rest in his presence.


Conclusion

We are steep in American Culture. Try Harder. Do More. Than you will be happy. But why be happy? Happiness is limited. It is short lived. Instead learn to be content. Content with your life. Content with what he is doing in your life and what He wants to do with you.

Yes, following Jesus, but not striving but relying. Not reaching but resting.

I pray that as you read this blog you are experiencing the peace of Jesus this summer. And if not I pray that He will teach you what it means to epxerence his goodness this summer! Amen.

"Who You Say I Am"

Hillsong wrote a song called, "Who You Say I Am"


My favorite part of the song is the bridge.....

"I am chosen. Not forsaken.
I am who you say I am.
You are for me.
Not against me.
I am who you say I am.
I am who you say I am."


But this is hard to believe right? As humans we make mistakes. We fall short of the expectations of others and of our own expectations.

But God values you. He doesn't just love you He likes everything about you.

I can be confident in who I am because I know who my heavenly Father is.

To look at this a little deeper we need to look at an amazing Old Testament Story: The story of Gideon.

The Story of Gideon 

In Judges 6, we find the Israelites doing evil in the Lord's sight. This phrase usually means they forget the goodness of God. They find their significance in things outside of God. We continue to do this today. Many find their worth in their relationships while others find their worth in their job. But these things can change in a moment.

That person you love could cheat on you, could divorce you, could die.
That job you love so much... well you might get fired, you might not love it any more, or it might get replace with technology.

That thing you love so much can and might let you down. Im not saying this to be a "downer" or say I don't do the same exact thing but to warn us to lean into the presence of God as our sole treasure and worship Him instead of false idols that promise to bring life but leave us empty.


After almost dying of starvation, God's people return to Him. SAVE US!!!! We are sorry. Like a child that is only sorry after they are caught Israel returns to her mother. But God is soooooo Good! Even when our motives are impure He welcomes us back 100%. Yes! You have always been my child.


But God works through people. And He chose Gideon. Gideon doesn't think he is worthy.

"How can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!"

He said, "I cant do it!"

And to that the Angel says AMEN! But God can do it through you!


Listen to what the Angel says to Gideon, "Mighty Hero, the Lord is with you!"


I think you have the wrong person. Mary, the Mother of our Lord, probably thought a similar thing years later. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee." Excuse me. I am a virgin. I am poor. I am 12 years old..... I am not ready!!!!!!!!


Can God use you? Yes! Can God chose you to do amazing things? Yes


The first step is to remember who He calls you to be!

We look at our past failures or future worries to define who we are. But God doesn't do that. He defines you by who you truly are: A child. His child. His beloved Child.

And He declared Gideon a "Mighty Warrior"
And told Mary she was "Highly favored"

He looks at you and says, "Don't be a worrier, be a warrior."

Who does God call you? Ask Him. Spend 5 mins in silence. Ask him to reveal his love toward you. What does his face look like when he looks at you. Do you think he is disappointed or proud?

Conclusion

St Paul wrote, "Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16)

Does this verse mean if I sin God is disappointed in me? No.

My son is learning to walk. He has not mastered it yet but he desires to run so badly. But He needs to learn to walk first. He will take a step and a half and fall down. But I am right there when he falls. Helping him up. Allowing him to grab onto my pant leg as we walk.

I believe this is a perfect picture for our Christian Walk. God has given us his spirit because He knew if we try to walk on our strength we would fall flat on our face and get discouraged.

But God says, "Child, I love you. Follow me. Believe in me. But also believe in yourself. Believe that me in you is enough to change everything."



Side Bar: I don't think I made it far enough through Gideon so there might be a part 2 to this blog.

How to be a better person (4 steps!)

What a catchy title!

Hopefully, if you are reading this, you want to be a better person. However, there are no secrets to becoming this "better person." It often is a long journey with hills and valleys. And as a poster in a high school guidance office might say, "a journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step." 

As a Christ-follower, I believe it is ultimately the work of the divine, Holy Spirit, that enables me to become a better person. With that being said there are plenty of ways we can partner with Him to grow and be transformed. As you will see in my first step (below) just reading this blog will not change you. You have to actually live life and be willing to be introspective. 

So lets begin.... with a parable.  Parable of the Good Samaritan30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant[a] walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins,[b] telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.”Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

If you've heard this story before I urge you to re-read it. We tend to gloss over the details if you have heard a story multiple times. Why was Jesus telling this story? His story, and most of his parables, are in response to questions....

An expert in the Jewish law approached Jesus and asked him which law he must follow in order to have eternal life. The average Jew observed 616 Old Testament laws. So which one is important? Jesus tells him it is simple... 1) Love God and 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. 

To a Jew loving God was easy. He was part of a chosen nation. He was circumcised. He went to temple. He studied Torah. He was set.

But love my neighbor? What does that even mean? You want me to love "outsiders?"

So the "expert" asks a question. "Who is my neighbor?" Who is this person I am obligated to love? This is where this story comes into action. 

This might be a good time for a sidebar. In the First Century there was a group of people known as the Samaritans. Jews did not like Samaritans. They viewed the Samaritans as "half-breeds." They treated them in this manner because they inter-married with non-Jews. This was a big "no-no." There is a lot more backstory but for the purpose of this blog just know that no Jew would ever want help from a Samaritan. As an American, imagine it is 2002. How are you feeling toward Muslims? 

This is such a dramatic story as the people that the Jewish expert would expect to help do not. Yet the Samaritan does. Jesus wanted to teach us that when we believe destructive things, like I'm better than someone else, it is as if we are left dead by the side of the road. 

The only saving grace for the Jewish expert, who is suppose to be the man on the side of the road, in the story, is to be saved by a Samaritan. Be saved by the person you hate or die. Ouch! 

So how do we grow? How can we be transformed into the person God wants us to be?

Step 1: Experience!

Nothing shapes us more than experiencing life. On Easter Weekend, My wife, son, and I went to Detroit for Opening Weekend of the Baseball season. Pirates were in town and we wanted to experience a new ballpark. 

On Saturday we went to the mall. A very urban mall. We were the only white people in the mall (besides the 20 or so police officers). 

And on Easter Sunday, we sat down next to a Muslim family in the hotel and ate breakfast. The woman were wearing head-covers. 

It's easy to look at someone of a different skin color or religion and be fearful. But why live life in fear? 

In the story, the man had to learn that even though some Samaritans are bad, making generalizations are harmful. Would he (or we) like people to make generalizations about us? Oh you are...... so you must be..... 

But as we experience life, as we experience new things, we should let those new experiences impact how we see life and other people. 

Step 2: Cognitive Dissonance 

Cognitive Dissonance is when your experience does not match your belief. One of two things happen. Either we change what we believe or we remain in cognitive dissonance (which leads to stress).  

Growth does not happen when we remain in cognitive dissonance however it is a good sign that you are growing when you experience differences between belief and practice. 

Is what I believe true? Have I been lied to? Or is my experience and understanding of the world limited? 

After the Samaritan helped the man and He was healed how would he respond? 

Could he go back to believing ALL Samaritans are unworthy of love and respect? 

How are your life experiences changing you? Or is everything black and white? "Of course, the ______ (political party) are evil.... they ___________ (action)."

"Of course, all ________ (religion) are evil... they ______________ (action)."

People do this with churches. My church experience was bad. I was judged. Therefore all church is bad. Or.... you just had a bad experience. 

People do this with relationships.... "My ______ (gf/bf/husband/wife) was a jerk/abused me.... therefore I will not get close to people again. 

Im not saying we should blindly trust people but I hope you experience some type of cognitive dissonance that leads to belief in people again. 

Step 3: Empathy 

The first two steps leads to deconstruction but now we must learn to reconstruct. 

This begins by showing empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 

Am I able to 1) Forgive myself for the harmful things I believed? and 2) Treat other people as human. 

This second one sounds really simple. But do I respect what they feel? Do I believe they have something to teach me? Or do I know it all? Can I learn from a child? Can I learn from someone with less education than me? Can I learn from someone of a different race or political party?

Step 4: Growth 

This is the hard part. Actually choosing to not repeat harmful thought patterns. In sports, we call this "Muscle memory." Can you train your mind to think correctly? I believe you can. When you think a harmful thought replace it with the truth. 

You are judgmental because you see a poor person on a busy street in Pittsburgh. You think "They are not really poor, they are just trying to take my money." 

Replace that thought with "They may or may not be poor, that is not my job."

If you want to give them money fine... if not fine.. But judging them is only hurting you. 

1. 
   

Final Thoughts 

The Journey to becoming a better person is a journey that will last your entire life! Being passive will not change you. Take action. Be willing to re-examine how you view your life and those around you.

Take a step today. Just do one thing. Listen. Learn. Rinse. Repeat. You got this! I'm rooting for you!!

Wait, Don’t sin!!!!!

David coined “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” (Psalm 4:4) 

I think we can substitute any emotion for anger and the phrase would still hold true. “Don’t let jealously/pride/sorrow/happiness control you.”

Adversity occurs. Life happens. David said and later St. Paul said the same thing “don’t let what happens control you.”

We all get angry. But will you let that ruin everything?

The benefit of the Christian is having the Holy Spirit. When I feel overwhelmed I know He is there with me. I can choose to consume the toxic self loathing attitude of “woe is me” or I can trust in Him. 

I heard somewhere that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you response. I’m not sure how accurate those numbers are but I do not believe in fatalism. I do believe I can change what I can and I’ll be content with what I cannot.

So what or who is in control of your life? What or who determines your every action?

I pray you will find peace in trusting in the Holy Spirit for guidance when you feel overwhelmed or confused or hurt. 

How are you sleeping?

 This famous prayer is attributed to Henry Johnstone.

"Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray to God my soul to take.
If I should live for other days,
I pray the Lord to guide my ways."
 

 

Are you like me?

Does your mind wander?

Man, I missed the boat. I should have.......

Man, I screwed that up. I should NOT have.....

or 

I wonder what affect my actions will have on tomorrow.
Am I fully prepared for on tomorrow will bring?

You see, many times we live in regret of things we have done, or lack thereof. While other times we are paralyzed by the uncertainty of the future. 

But I believe to be human means to fully alive in the moment. To be thankful for the gifts we have been given by God and using those gifts to spread his love to others. 

I fully believe our ability to be productive happens when we are fully human and this only happens when we get enough sleep. And not just any type of sleep but good sleep.

You know the different right? My Fitbit tracks my heart rate and transfers the data to my phone while I sleep. And something it tells me is "How I am sleeping"  Not just the length but how much "Deep Sleep"

This brings me to the Bible. There is a popular Bible Story where Jesus calms the Storm. But what is the context?


"Soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, "Teacher, don't you care that we're going to drown?"


Okay, so Jesus is sleeping because HE IS TIRED. Because he was teaching parables. And healing the sick. And dealing with a lot of emotional and dysfunctional people. Jesus shown compassion but he was tired. So he fell asleep.

The disciples woke him up because they were afraid.

What scares you?

How humbling it would have been to include this story in the Bible. Fishermen were afraid. This must have been one big storm.

Oh, and to answer their question... Yes, Jesus cared.

 Back to the story
Because Jesus was still cranky and didnt get his starbucks yet He simply used three words to calm the storm: "Silence, Be still."


Guys, why are you afraid? Do you still lack faith?

Jesus had given them the authority to speak to the storm of this world and calm them down. Yet, they freaked. They didn't trust that God could work through them and they had to wake up Jesus. While they were the ones sleeping spiritually.


Here is the point.....

1) Jesus has given us authority to speak to the winds and waves. We can say, "Silence be still." We can speak to the injustice of our culture and say, "That's not okay!"

We can step in for others when they are sleeping and pray on their behalf.


2) When we trust in God we can sleep in the midst of storms.

Storms happen. Bad stuff happens, right? We can worry about what we didnt do or what we are going to need to do....... or we can live in the moment.


Part of "living in the moment" is sleeping when you are tired.

So how are you sleeping?

If you are not sleeping; stop counting sheep and give your trust over to the Good Shepherd.

I pray that God will work in and through you to surrender your agenda and stress over to the One who is able to handle it all. 



Declare this simple yet profound childlike prayer tonight before bedtime....

"Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray to God my soul to take.
If I should live for other days,
I pray the Lord to guide my ways."

Uprooting lies

When I was renting an apartment I couldn't wait till I was a homeowner and now that I am a homeowner I am envious of the times when I didn't hold the responsibility of having a house.

Spring is here.. (Finally!) I think (Knock on wood) maybe.

With spring here comes the responsibility of taking care of my outdoor activites. I need to do some repairs on my fence (or declare it dead), cut the lawn, and of course pull the weeds.  On the side of my house we have a nice gardening area with a lot of potential. But as ever person who has ever worked in a garden knows it is a lot of work!


God is good and so without any work somehow we have some flowers. But I spent an hour and started pulling weeds today. As I was pulling weeds I tried as hard as I could to not just pull the top of the weed but get the roots as well.

Then I started thinking of Jesus. If He was here, which I believe He always is, what could He teach me? He seemed to take the "ordinary" day to day chores and create a teaching lesson. So I spoke, "Jesus will you teach me a parable?"

He quickly reminded me of the parable of the good Soil. This is the story He taught where seed was planted on different types of soil and depending on where it was planted affected if the seed produced a harvest.

Thanks Jesus. Anything more?

What if a bad seed was planted in good soil?

You see in his parable the seed was good and the soild affected the outcome. But what we planted a lie in our mind. A faulty system. A virus. A weed?

Because that's what happens when we believe a lie. It is rooted so deep into our lives that we believe it is the truth. And we try to replace the lie with the truth but many times we are just cutting off the surface. If we don't take out the root the weed will just grow back.

So how do we destroy the root cause?

I believe most if not all lies are found in three connected categories.

1) My view of God.
2) My view of myself.
3) My view of others.

Number 1- Do I believe God is good?

Disclaimer: By Good I do not mean, "God will always give me what I want."

I do mean He will always give me what I need. He will always provide, protect, and love me to the fullest extent possible.

Its easy to allow our circumstances to dictate how we view God. You pray for your sick Aunt with cancer and she still dies. Is God good? Does He care?

You get fired from your job.

Your house burns down.

Is God good? Is God at fault?

The foundation of the Christian believe system much be: "I know God is good because He demonstrated his love for me on the cross."

Number 2- Do I believe I am good?

This was is tricky. Some churches teach "original sin." I do not have time to fight for or against "orginal sin" here.

But I do what to argue for is your identity as a child of God.

Am I valuable? Do I have worth? Am I a child of the king?

When storms comes are we questioning these foundational truths? Or can we stand firm in believing we are valuable?


Number 3- Do I believe others are good?

In the diary of Anne Frank, the young girl writes, "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death."

And Luke Bryan sings,

 

"I believe most people are good
And most mama's oughta qualify for sainthood
I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights
I believe you love who you love
Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of
I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks
I believe most people are good." 

Do I believe that the person that offended me in valuable to God? 

Do I take everything personally?

Is someone inheritely evil because he or she belongs to a different political party, religion, or nationality than me?

I've learn most people are doing the best they can with what they know how. And I will trust God to figure out the rest. 

Conclusion

 

What lies are you believing? For me I know it is a lie if I see Jesus respond differently. He is my Savior and my example. I am still uprooting a lot of lies I have believed but If I can manage to believe three fundamental truths I believe I am on the right track. 

  

Don't Doubt His Love (John 20)

On Tuesday April 10th I subbed at Saint Boniface Catholic School. I was subbing for Mrs Gnan, the 4th and 5th Grade teacher.

What a wonderful class. There are normally only 7 students but two were sick so we were down to 5 kids for the day. They were well-behaved, studious, yet 10 years old.

This came truth came out when we arrived at Religion class. I love Religion because I love Jesus. I can't do powerless, "Jesus-less" religion. If my religion isn't changing me, I need it to change. And today's lesson was on the Resurrection! How cool!

In the guide I was given it said, "The Resurrection is the MOST Vital truth of the Catholic faith."

Woah! And Duh! Of course it is!

But when we think Catholic we think Praying to saints,  perpetual virginity of Mary, the Hail Mary, well I guess just a lot about Mary. 

 But The Resurrection is the Most Vital Truth! That is awesome. 

Anyhow the Gospel reading was John Chapter 20. This is the Chapter where 1) Mary Magdalene arrives at the empty tomb, 2) Jesus greets her but she thinks he is the gardener, 3) Jesus informs Mary that He is alive, 4) Mary preaches the Gospel to the other disciples who are hiding in fear, 5) Thomas doesn't believe and is forever known as "Doubting Thomas." 6) Finally Jesus shows up, walks through a door, and says, "Peace be with you."


Amazing Chapter of Scripture. Stop reading my blog and read it all. John Chapter 20. If you don't come back here I will not be offended. Read the Bible. It is good stuff! 

So back to School. In the Relgion assignment there was a play that the students had to read through. But since they were a fine class I asked them if instead they wanted to get up out of their seats and act it out. We drew names and off we went. Of course some of the gender roles were messed up but they could handle it. And Of course Jesus ended up being a girl. 

And She loved it. She was so excited and almost shouting her lines.  

But then we were done. We sat back in seats and discussed. 

We talked about the Resurrection. We talked about Mary finding the empty tomb. We talked about how she didn't recognize him there. We talked about why they thought the disciples were hiding in the upper room. And we talked about fear and doubt. 

Looking back we think the disciples are crazy for missing the Resurrection. Jesus said he was going to Raise from the dead, how could they not believe? How could they not remember?

Concluding thoughts 

1) Grief can cloud our memory. 

Mary thought Jesus was a gardener. The Bible doesn't say, but I believe Mary would have been so upset about Jesus dying still. Remember it was only Friday that they saw him get killed on a cross. She was overwhelmed that he wasn't with her. But much more.... She thought someone had stolen the body. Not only did they not have Jesus alive but they couldn't even come to grieve. 

You see through tear-filled eyes Mary couldn't see that Jesus was standing right in front of her the whole time. 

We need time to grieve when tragic events come our way but remember Jesus is always with you. He just might look like a gardener that day!

2) Fear and doubt can cloud our hope

It is hard to have hope for the future when we are doubting ourselves or fearful of what might happen. The disciples were fearful. They had not yet received the Holy Spirit promised to them by Jesus. They were hiding in fear of the Religious rulers. 

They had just killed their rabbi could they be next?

3) Jesus will walk through any door for you. 

Yet Thomas was not there when Jesus appeared to the disciples the first time. He didn't believe the women or the men that proclaim, "Dude! Jesus is alive!"

Hahahhaha April fools right?

No.

Yet in his unbelief Jesus walked through a door (because remember John said "He is the door (John 10)"

Literally? Probably not. Don't get hung up on the details. 

The Point? There is no obstacle too large to stop Jesus from loving you. There is no mountain high. No valley low. No river wide enough baby. (Now I want to go watch "Remember the Titans!!!")

In our unbelief Jesus walks up to us and says, "Here I am!" You needed proof! Touch my hands. See my scares. Get your hands dirty and bloody but feeling the wound in my side. I did this for you. I did this for love. 


 So what, now what?

Jesus' love for us this Easter Season should cause us to be 1) Confident in his love, 2) walk through walls in order to show love, grace, and forgiveness. 

After all- The Resurrection is the most vital truth of the Catholic Church. 

And if you're not Catholic like me. It is still vital. It is the the most vital truth of being a Christian. 
 Because when we follow Jesus to the cross (Deny ourselves) we follow him to the tomb (killing pride) and we follow him to the Resurrection (It is here that we live and have power to love).