Divine Relationships

The goal of any relationship is to leave someone better off than when we found them.

This is true of friendship, romantic relationships, marital relationships, and family relationships. 

This blatantly spits in the face of the value of our culture. In 21st Century America we are all about instant gratification. What can I get out of it? How can this benefit me now?  

I wish I knew this concept earlier in my life because when you grasp it. When you get it. It wrecks you. You can't stay the same. 

For example, in a dating relationship between a boy and girl. Many cases they are in the relationship for purely selfish reasons. She is cute. He is athletic. I am lonely.  I have a low self-esteem. I I I. 

We take our brokenness and take it to another broken person to not feel broken. Its the blind leading the blind. 2000 years ago Jesus said, "The two shall be one." This implies the reality that the two whole people shall be united together to become one whole person. (Not 1/2 person +3/8 person= One person)

Not perfect by any means of the word but whole. 

To be whole means to be holy. These two words actually come from the same word in the Greek. It is when "all the parts are present and working as they were designed."

To be whole or holy means to have one's identity fixated on the fact that because of Jesus's Actions on the cross we have incredible value in the eyes of God. We are valued no longer as sinners but as saints. We are valued no longer as distant from God but as people who have been bought near. We are valued no longer as servants but as Kings and Queens. With Authority. With dignity. With honor. 

When one brings himself/herself to a dating relationship he or she must be whole. They enter into the relationship to offer themselves to the other. 

This same truth ought to be apply to any and all relationships we have. We bring ourselves to others not to get something from them but to give ourselves. To leave every and any situation with them being better off because you were in their presence. 

There are two possible things that can occur to dating relationships. This is the fact that they can end up being engaged and then married or have a breakup. As child of the king a breakup should not look like it does in the "world." 

Yes, hurt shall come and pain will arise. But if you were whole before the relationship and if you were in it to give of yourself and not merely to receive, (There is a purpose in receiving from others but it ironically only occurs when you give) things will be okay. 

Why?

Because your goal weather you ended up marrying the person or not was to leave them better than you found them. 

I write this blog a few days before I get married. What an exciting time in my life. But what also a scary time. Not scary in the sense that I am afraid but in the sense of the unknown. What does it look like to love and be loved and give of myself wholly and fully?

I do know at least one thing. My goal and purpose in marriage cannot be about myself.  It needs to and has to be about the other. My purpose fixates on the idea that I will leave her better off each day. Not in a controlling and trying to fix any and all things kind of manner but in the "I really do care about your best interest" kind of way. 

Jesus knew who he was. He was a whole person. He was a holy person. He brought himself to every relationship. He never care what people thought about him because life wasn't about himself feeling good. It was about living for others. 

And you know what?. Every time Jesus hangs out with me I am a better person. He does it. He makes me better. Not by controlling me with guilt and shame but through his loving kindness. 

Jesus, teach me to have divine relationships. Teach me how to respect others above myself. To honor others above myself. Walk with me. Talk with me. Guide me today in this journey. To the end goal that you might be glorified. That you might be praised. Thank Risen King Jesus.